TV and Children

You cannot raise responsible children unless you come to grips with what else is raising them. Television and the Internet are the electronic teachers of your children.

TV - the sobering facts:

• The average child spends 23 hours per week watching TV.
• Children spend more than twice as much time watching TV as they do on homework.
• The average number of TV sets in a household with children is 2.7, and increasing steadily.
• More than half of American children have a TV in their bedrooms. Most adolescents watch TV in their room and almost one-third of preschool-age children have sets in their bedrooms.
• During the 7-8 p.m. time slot (once defined as the family hour), 80 percent of TV shows use four-letter words, and 60  percent refer to sex. 
• During prime time, 74 percent of all TV shows contain sexual content, rarely making any reference to personal responsibility risk. 
• Children are exposed to an estimated 10,000 food advertisements per year, mostly on TV. 
• Less than 25 percent of parents believe their children watch too much TV.

What TV teaches your child:

• Public television in particular strives to teach positive values. At its best, commercial TV can inspire and educate.
•  It can expose children to people from different ethnic groups and show different kinds of families. 
•  TV nourishes a culture of disrespect. People are continually dissing one another and disrespect is the source of most of the humor in comedies, and most of the tensions in dramas. 
•  TV portrays parents as incompetent and befuddled, and children are wise (and smart-alecky) beyond their years. 
•  TV teaches instant gratification, especially through commercials, where billions of dollars are spent to attract children and adults and to make them buy a product now. 
•  TV teaches that happiness is having things. 
•  TV represents sex without commitment or consequences, either emotional or physical. 
•  TV desensitizes children to the effects of violence on human lives. It portrays aggression as no big deal.

What you can do:

•  Don't permit your children to have a TV in their bedrooms.  This encourages isolation from the rest of the family and it is more difficult to monitor the programs they watch. If your child has a TV in his or her room, consider setting a date several months away after which it will be removed. Be prepared for a major conflict.
•  Decide in advance with your children which TV shows they will watch each week. Make sure the TV is off when one of   those shows is not on. Don't let the TV stay on just to provide background sight and sound.  
•  Utilize reviews and parent guides to learn about the content of TV programs. 
•  Watch TV shows with your children to see what they are like and how your children are reacting to them. Discuss these shows with your children.
•  Turn the TV off during mealtimes.
•  Do not use TV programs as a babysitter. 
•  Experiment with TV-free nights and use the time for family activities. 
•  Set a good example in your own TV watching, being deliberate about what you watch and don't watch.

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From Take Back Your Kids: Confident Parenting in Turbulent Times by William J. Doherty, Ph.D.,
copyright (c) 2000. Used by permission of SORIN BOOKS, an imprint of Ave Maria Press, Notre Dame, Ind., 1-800-282-1865 ext. 3.

Mothers

By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one"?

And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her?"

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!" said the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"

"And that's just on the standard model?" The Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can.

And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak." The Lord objected. "That's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."

The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. "You thought of everything, for mothers are truly amazing."

A little time to slumber

It's too true...

This poem is from here - Great website, great writer!

A little time to slumber
All my days spent in the sun,
My idle hands were folded,
My daily chores not done.
I wasn’t at all rebellious,
As into the sky I’d gaze,
I just left my daily duties
As in the sun I bathed.
I read my book for hours,
Dishes soaking in the sink,
The meat still in the freezer
For I didn’t stop to think
What I needed for dinner,
It lay frozen in a lump;
I’d serve meat of something,
Be it chops or steak or rump.
Just a minute of my surfing
Turned to hours of my day,
As I sat online chatting
To people far away.
Imagine then my panic
As at last I looked around,
To see the clock now telling
My man was homeward bound.
What a rush of my adrenaline,
Making me quickly scamper
To launder clothes still waiting
In the dirty laundry hamper.
The bed was pulled up in a hurry,
The dishes washed and left to dry,
As I boiled up some veggies
And set the meat to fry.
Which would likely take forever
For it hadn’t completely thawed
And I so wanted dinner ready
As soon as my man hit the door.
I felt so really guilty
as I served our dinner late,
That I decided my many forums
Would henceforth have to wait.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The BEST Play Dough Recipe!

Traditional Play Dough

1 cup flour
1 cup warm water
2 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp oil
1/4 cup salt
food coloring

Mix all ingredients, adding food coloring last. Stir over medium heat until smooth. Remove from pan and knead until blended smooth. Place in plastic bag or airtight container when cooled. Will last for a long time.

This recipe is from here: http://www.teachnet.com/lesson/art/playdoughrecipes/traditional.html



Personal notes:

I used a medium-size pot to make this and it was about the perfect size. When it's done cooking, it will be quite thick and starting to stick to the bottom of the pot. I do not add the food coloring until afterward because I only want to make a small amount of each color at any given time. So I cook it and cool it as above, but I knead the color in by hand during the last step.

I have found that empty used Play-Doh containers make great storage (and we have plenty of them since Play-Doh dries out so quickly!). You could also use small Tupperware-type containers, or even Ziplock-type plastic bags as long as they have a good seal. Check flea markets for old Play-Doh playsets - most of them will be pretty cheap (and will probably include several tubs of dried-out dough if your experience is like mine!).

We left this dough out on the table overnight once by accident and I was VERY pleased to see that it didn't dry out. It got just a little crusty on the top, but a few seconds of kneading with warm hands and it was as good as new!

Quotes of the Day

"You can't make Socialists out of individualists - children who know how to think for themselves spoil the harmony of the collective society which is coming, where everyone is interdependent." - John Dewey, considered the founder of public education in America
(http://www.eagleforum.org/educate/2001/sept01/socialism.shtml)

"Some say it takes a village to raise a child. I've seen the village... and allowing it to raise my child is not an option."- Gena Suarez, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_s18yj57iwU

Thoughts on Bill S-209, Canada's proposed anti-spanking legislation

Bill S-209 proposes to repeal section 43 of the Canadian Criminal Code, which is the section that allows parents and caregivers to use corporal punishment (ie spanking). This bill has very quietly passed through the Senate with little fanfare and needs approval from the House before it will become law.

I feel that this bill does nothing to protect children. Child abuse and beating is a deviant behavior, and already a crime. People who abuse children already know they’re breaking the law, and they don’t care. All this bill will accomplish is criminalizing parents who are caring for their kids and trying to raise them to be good citizens.

In my opinion, the senator who introduced this bill has little credibility. She was defeated in three consecutive elections, and I feel that she has no business in the Canadian government, proposing legislation that will affect the lives of the citizens who voted her out because they did not want her representation.

(Not to mention, she researched this bill by interviewing children, and was pleased to note they agreed with her. Of course they did! Children do not know what is best for them, that’s why they have parents.)

I am appalled that this bill has made it as far as it has, and I hope our MPs have more sense than our senators. The government does not know best when it comes to child-rearing; if they did, then institutions would be utopia.

Whether you spank your own kids or not is up to you. But you must agree that this is a case where the government has gone too far, stepped too deeply into our personal lives, and needs to back off.

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Letter I sent to the senator who proposed this (and who intends to keep re-introducing it if it is defeated, wasting yet MORE taxpayer dollars)

Senator Hervieux-Payette
hervic@sen.parl.gc.ca

I am sure you are getting many letters regarding this bill, so I will keep my comments brief. I am dismayed by the introduction of this bill and by its quiet passage through the Senate. I only hope our elected members in the House will show more common sense when the bill is brought before them for a vote.

I see nothing in this bill that will protect children in any way. Abuse and beating of children is already a crime; it is a deviant behavior and those who engage in it already know they are breaking the law. This is a completely different matter than that of caring parents who are correcting their children's behavior with the aim of disciplining (training) them to be good citizens and responsible adults. What I do see in this bill is an attempt to control the home life of Canadians, and to strip parents of their right to raise their children as they see fit. What this most reminds me of is the past criminalization of homeschoolers. Thankfully, we seem to have put that era behind us.

I fear for Canada's future if parents continue to be micromanaged and undermined by external forces. It doesn't take long to realize that the current generation has little respect for laws, for other people, or for government. When they in turn start raising children, we will be faced with the consequences of naively embracing "positive parenting." Children are not little adults, they require training and correction. Sometimes it is unpleasant. But a little punishment today is preferable to a life without having learned limits and self-control.

As a mother, I'm sure you meant well bringing this matter before the Senate. Children do need protection from abusers. But I hope that as a mother, you also realize that parents need to have their rights respected, and that sometimes being a parent means not being your child's buddy.

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Government members who have opposed this bill - write to them with your support!

Karen Redman: Redman.K@parl.gc.ca
Daryl Kramp: krampd1@parl.gc.ca
Anne Cools: coolsa@sen.parl.gc.ca

Book Review: The Wonder Weeks

Book Review: The Wonder Weeks

I honestly can't say enough good things about this book. Every time C hit a rough spot as a baby, I found the explanations here.

The Wonder Weeks breaks down the baby's first year or so according to the developmental leaps that occur. Understanding what was going on inside her brain and body helped me to be more sympathetic when she was whining and clingy, or waking up through the night, or just seemed to turn into a different child overnight.

Offering suggestions on how to work through each developmental leap and turn it into an opportunity for learning and for growth, the authors also help to foster a better relationship between parent and child. It is much easier to make it through a particularly difficult week when you realize that your child has suddenly become aware of things like "mommy can leave and I can't stop her" or "I am a distinct person and not just a part of my mommy". Learning new things like motor skills, size & shape relationships, etc changes the baby's perception of the world and leads to a time of confusion - and it takes a little while for everything to settle again. Patience and encouragement from a loving caregiver will help the baby to get through each stage more smoothly and with the best results for everyone.

I highly recommend this book to all new parents, and to anyone going to a baby shower. It honestly made my life SO much better.

I guess we're a breastfeeding success story

Yesterday was Baby A's 4 month checkup.


Him: Wow, you're a chubby one, aren't you?

Her: grin, drool

Him: What are you feeding her?

Me: Just breastfeeding.

Him: Are you serious? How many times a day?

Me: Too many.


LOL

Two and a half is an amazing age.

I mean, so far every age has been amazing in its own unique way... but right now I'm fascinated. Frustrated, but fascinated. I can see little bits of the individual to come appearing every day in C. We're in the "ME do it!!!" stage right now. And the funny thing is, she actually CAN do most of it. It's just a matter of being willing to step back and let her. Which we've been good at all along, but now suddenly I'm more reluctant. Probably because most of what she wants to do for herself now involves a lot of mess potential. LOL

One thing that's great is her eagerness to help. She's so keen on proving that she can do things, that if I just ask her if she'd like to "help mommy" then she's right there. This morning's project was changing bedsheets. She was totally willing to strip off her bed for me - probably just because doing so reveals a great bouncing surface, but anyway. She still wanted to help!

She's just now finished having a picnic with her little dollies, which she arranged all by herself including all the dishes and play food. Then she went to the fridge, got the apple juice, poured it into her little pitcher and put it back, all without asking for help. Of course there was juice dribbled down the hallway, but surprisingly none on the floor in the kitchen!

Then of course there's the dressing/undressing and all that fun stuff.

And our biggest accomplishment at the moment is, she's actually settling into her "big girl bed". Right now it's just a twin mattress on the floor, we haven't set up the frame yet. But last night was the third night there. The first two nights she woke up in the wee hours and came into our room, but last night she slept right through til 6:30. So there IS hope that she'll be totally out of her crib before the next one arrives!!!

What a day!

Wednesday morning C had a temperature. In the afternoon she ended up being kind of sooky and quiet, wouldn't eat... so I gave her apple juice and children's Advil. Which she only kept down for about an hour before she lost all of it. That was one unhappy child. We spend the afternoon just chilling out, and later in the evening she managed to eat supper and drink some diluted juice to get rehydrated. Overnight her temp came back around 3-ish so I gave her more Advil and let her sleep with us. In the morning she seemed okay, just really cranky.

However, since her cousin was diagnosed with a strep infection on Tuesday afternoon, I thought I had better take her in to the doctor to get tested just in case. Ear infections, flu bugs, those I will wait out for a day or two. But I know I can't treat a bacterial infection on my own, and I didn't want to give it time to develop into something more serious. So off we went.

Normally I don't have to go to the outpatient department (ER) because we have a family doctor. But he's on medical leave for heart surgery, and his replacement wasn't available, so today we were walk-ins.

What I learned from this experience is:
1 - it REALLY stinks to not have a regular family doctor to go to, and
2 - people are WAY less considerate these days than they used to be.

She was mostly okay this morning, but overnight her fever had come back and she was just really cranky. So about 10 I went in to the hospital. There were only a half-dozen or so people there so I figured a couple of hours and we'd be done.Well, a couple of hours later was when we first saw the doctor. On arrival they do triage and decide who falls where on the scale of importance. Which makes sense of course, but it stinks when you're going in with a minor complaint just because you have no doctor to go to. We were pretty much at the bottom of the list.

Anyway, the doctor had a look at her, then the nurse did a throat swab (which took her, me and another nurse to accomplish). Then we had to wait for the results to come back.Waiting for the results took hours. There was stuff going on behind the scenes with patients, people the police brought in and people who came by ambulance. One patient brought the entire department to a standstill for three solid hours.

DH called to check on us and I was so tired by that point it was pathetic. We hadn't eaten since breakfast because I didn't have any cash with me and I didn't dare leave long enough to go to the cafeteria (where I think I could have used my Visa) lest we miss being called. About three o'clock I finally asked whether they could just phone me with the results and the nurse checked and said we were next to be seen. So I thought, okay, we'll wait it out.

It was after 4:30 (and two more patients later) when we finally got called back in. Thankfully he said the preliminary test showed no strep and he gave me some tips to deal with her fever and sick stomach if they came back. (They'll run a more complete test over the next two days and call me if anything shows up - apparently 10-15% of negative tests are actually positive.)

So we left, and hurried off to get something to eat. C said she wanted chicken nuggets, french fires, ketchup, chocolate milk, AND a hamburger. LOL I settled for the nuggets and fries, but didn't figure she really needed a burger, too.

We spent a total of about 7 hours in the waiting room. And I think I spent 4 of those carrying her around. Little wonder I'm sore tonight. I feel like I walked a mile or ten today.You know what surprised me, though? Maybe it shouldn't, but it did. You know, NO ONE offered me a seat. A pregnant lady carrying a toddler, and NO ONE asked if we'd like to sit down, NO ONE asked if we needed anything... is chivalry really that dead and gone? :(

Tough Life for Stay-at-Home Moms?

Well said, Dr. Laura!

"The last few generations have been brought up with too much and too little: too much opportunity and things, too little gratitude and obligation. We actually have a large segment of our population that couldn't imagine giving without getting, sacrificing out of obligation, suffering out of responsibility, following through out of honor. "

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=34558

On disciplining children

Well, I failed miserably at conveying this to my ladies' class on Sunday, but now that I've had time to put my thoughts together, I realize that regardless of the reaction I may have gotten from some of the ladies there, I'm not too far off the mark. Either I didn't think it through well enough to explain my thoughts thoroughly, or else I was talking to a group of ladies who just have different opinions.

One thing I've realized recently is that, even within the church, we have a very skewed perception of discipline. 'Discipline' and 'Punishment' have unfortunately come to mean the same thing to many people, and the real meaning of 'discipline' - i.e. training, raising, bringing up, etc, has gotten lost in the shuffle. It seems like many of us are just hoping for the best for the future, without really focusing on what we can do while our kids are very small. After all, "kids will be kids" and we should "let them be babies", right? *sigh*

Anyway, here are my thoughts on disciplining children. I'd be interested in hearing any constructive comments, because I know I'm not perfect and neither are my theories on raising kids.

- Don't act out of your anger and impulse. You will do and say things that will harm, not build up.
- Take a few minutes to cool off, send your child to another room if necessary, and then come back together when you're thinking clearly.
- Explain to your child what they did wrong and what the punishment is going to be.
- DO deliver said punishment.
- Take the time to instill correction, explaining to them what they should have done or should have avoided.

- Explain to them God's system of authority, that the parents are in charge of the children and that God is in charge of the parents, and that just as they need to obey you, you also need to obey God, and that God mandates for parents to correctly train and discipline their children. Not that you want them to be afraid of God or of you, but that you want them to understand the concept of authority.

I think that last one should be a part of everyday life, not necessarily part of the moment of correction. More that children should be taught this principle and understand it ahead of time.

Making Excuses?

I had a brief flash of insight this past week. Maybe it was just the paint fumes, but I don't think so. I decided last week that my living room was going to get painted. So it did. I set out to do it, and a couple of hours at a time, it's gotten done. I still have some of the trim to finish, and there's furniture to move back tonight when DH gets home, but it's mostly done.

The significant thing here is, C was still home. And most of the time, she was awake. And only once did she intentionally touch the wet paint (and once more by accident).

This put me to thinking about how many things I haven't done, how many things I've put off, just because I didn't think I could do it with her around.

How often do we use our kids as an excuse for not doing something? I mean, sometimes it's legitimate, and I'm not talking about those times. I mean the times when if we're honest we have to admit that we're using the kids as a cop-out.

And then I thought, how would that make her feel, to know that mommy didn't do all these things just because of her presence?

Food for thought.