On disciplining children

Well, I failed miserably at conveying this to my ladies' class on Sunday, but now that I've had time to put my thoughts together, I realize that regardless of the reaction I may have gotten from some of the ladies there, I'm not too far off the mark. Either I didn't think it through well enough to explain my thoughts thoroughly, or else I was talking to a group of ladies who just have different opinions.

One thing I've realized recently is that, even within the church, we have a very skewed perception of discipline. 'Discipline' and 'Punishment' have unfortunately come to mean the same thing to many people, and the real meaning of 'discipline' - i.e. training, raising, bringing up, etc, has gotten lost in the shuffle. It seems like many of us are just hoping for the best for the future, without really focusing on what we can do while our kids are very small. After all, "kids will be kids" and we should "let them be babies", right? *sigh*

Anyway, here are my thoughts on disciplining children. I'd be interested in hearing any constructive comments, because I know I'm not perfect and neither are my theories on raising kids.

- Don't act out of your anger and impulse. You will do and say things that will harm, not build up.
- Take a few minutes to cool off, send your child to another room if necessary, and then come back together when you're thinking clearly.
- Explain to your child what they did wrong and what the punishment is going to be.
- DO deliver said punishment.
- Take the time to instill correction, explaining to them what they should have done or should have avoided.

- Explain to them God's system of authority, that the parents are in charge of the children and that God is in charge of the parents, and that just as they need to obey you, you also need to obey God, and that God mandates for parents to correctly train and discipline their children. Not that you want them to be afraid of God or of you, but that you want them to understand the concept of authority.

I think that last one should be a part of everyday life, not necessarily part of the moment of correction. More that children should be taught this principle and understand it ahead of time.

Tithing from your small business

Do you tithe on your business income? I admit it's something that I have personally been really bad at in the past. I always find myself paying the bills first and then hoping there will be a little something left over - unfortunately there never really is.

So... how to overcome this tendency? I think it comes down to being decisive and also if you tend to slip, it's important to set up a plan that's really hard to fail at.

I opened a separate bank account, and every time I make a deposit I transfer 10% to that account right there at the ATM. It's an account that I cannot access using my bank card, and I have to request a withdrawal to my chequing account a day ahead. Since I've started doing this consistently, I have literally seen an explosion in my business. I have several new clients, and also some new projects for old clients.

It doesn't always work this way, but I have often seen an immediate response to my little steps of faith. Financially I have seen very clear answers - there have been several times that I've gotten back exactly ten times what I offered.

God says clearly in the Scriptures, in Malachi 3:10:

Bring all the tithes into the storehouse,
That there may be food in My house,
And try Me now in this,”
Says the LORD of hosts,
“ If I will not open for you the windows of heaven
And pour out for you such blessing
That there will not be room enough to receive it.

Which makes me wonder why on earth I tend to fall back into my wishy-washy patterns so easily.

Making Excuses?

I had a brief flash of insight this past week. Maybe it was just the paint fumes, but I don't think so. I decided last week that my living room was going to get painted. So it did. I set out to do it, and a couple of hours at a time, it's gotten done. I still have some of the trim to finish, and there's furniture to move back tonight when DH gets home, but it's mostly done.

The significant thing here is, C was still home. And most of the time, she was awake. And only once did she intentionally touch the wet paint (and once more by accident).

This put me to thinking about how many things I haven't done, how many things I've put off, just because I didn't think I could do it with her around.

How often do we use our kids as an excuse for not doing something? I mean, sometimes it's legitimate, and I'm not talking about those times. I mean the times when if we're honest we have to admit that we're using the kids as a cop-out.

And then I thought, how would that make her feel, to know that mommy didn't do all these things just because of her presence?

Food for thought.