Consideration - Without being crippled

The last few weeks we've been discussing "boundaries" in our ladies' class at church. I admit it surprised me the first day that I came into the class; I expected it to be a Bible study class. But it's been interesting. We've been talking about things like setting limits (self-protection), checking your motivation for doing things (service in love vs guilt or manipulation), and realizing that you are probably going to hurt someone's feelings by saying "No" or by making a particular decision, but that it won't do them any long-term harm, whereas not doing so might do you some long-term harm.

So it's been interesting. This morning's thoughts are heavily influenced by the last couple of classes, I think.

I've been thinking this morning about how our decisions have an effect on the people around us, and how we can be considerate of that effect without letting fear of hurting them cripple us in our decision-making. Whether it's a little decision like turning down a second piece of cake, or a bigger one like breastfeeding or homeschooling, someone is going to be affected and might even be hurt.

When it comes to breastfeeding - we all know it's the best choice, for many of us it's the only choice we're willing to consider. But I think sometimes in our mission to do the best for our child, we get into a place where we almost have blinders on. The last two generations of moms have basically been instructed by doctors and other "experts" that their milk wasn't good enough, or that breastfeeding was unsterile, or that formula was just plain better. Now we come along and we have better science, better knowledge, and are making the decision to breastfeed, which is great - but when we get questioned about our decision, how do we respond? Do we become defensive immediately, or do we take a minute to consider the other person's point of view before responding? Do we consider that they might be struggling with their own feelings of guilt or inadequacy (whether or not it's conscious), and respond graciously and lovingly, or do we lash out with something like "everyone knows breast is best" or by throwing out statistics?

And then there's homeschooling. Studies are proving that it works, and that it's a good choice. But it's still a minority decision which a lot of people are nervous about. Again, when questioned, how do you respond? Do you respond in love, explaining why you made this choice but why you also accept that not everyone can homeschool... or do you preach about the evils of the public school system? Do we come across as "holier than thou" or wierd and eccentric because we homeschool, or do we speak in love and grace, attracting others to us? Do our words make other parents feel bad about their own past choices, or hopeful about their future?

Just some things to think about. Consider what you say and how it is being received by the other person. Don't let their feelings cripple you or limit your decisions, but do take them into consideration and think about changing your presentation a little bit.