Well, I failed miserably at conveying this to my ladies' class on Sunday, but now that I've had time to put my thoughts together, I realize that regardless of the reaction I may have gotten from some of the ladies there, I'm not too far off the mark. Either I didn't think it through well enough to explain my thoughts thoroughly, or else I was talking to a group of ladies who just have different opinions.
One thing I've realized recently is that, even within the church, we have a very skewed perception of discipline. 'Discipline' and 'Punishment' have unfortunately come to mean the same thing to many people, and the real meaning of 'discipline' - i.e. training, raising, bringing up, etc, has gotten lost in the shuffle. It seems like many of us are just hoping for the best for the future, without really focusing on what we can do while our kids are very small. After all, "kids will be kids" and we should "let them be babies", right? *sigh*
Anyway, here are my thoughts on disciplining children. I'd be interested in hearing any constructive comments, because I know I'm not perfect and neither are my theories on raising kids.
- Don't act out of your anger and impulse. You will do and say things that will harm, not build up.
- Take a few minutes to cool off, send your child to another room if necessary, and then come back together when you're thinking clearly.
- Explain to your child what they did wrong and what the punishment is going to be.
- DO deliver said punishment.
- Take the time to instill correction, explaining to them what they should have done or should have avoided.
- Explain to them God's system of authority, that the parents are in charge of the children and that God is in charge of the parents, and that just as they need to obey you, you also need to obey God, and that God mandates for parents to correctly train and discipline their children. Not that you want them to be afraid of God or of you, but that you want them to understand the concept of authority.
I think that last one should be a part of everyday life, not necessarily part of the moment of correction. More that children should be taught this principle and understand it ahead of time.
